Getting on the same page as your spouse financially

Mar 31, 2022

Money management is hard at times.  Marriage is hard at times.  Stick them together and you have an even more difficult situation.  Did you know that the #1 reason people get divorced is related to money problems?  I understand how this happens but there is a way to get on the same page, work together, and enjoy this part of your marriage instead of it being one of the biggest obstacles.

You'll hear me say this over and over, but the secret to getting along with your partner when it comes to money is to know each other's values.  This is where it starts.  But you also have to create a system with your money where you can manage it together.    

There is a lot more to managing money in a relationship, but here is a 3-step process to help you get on the same page financially.

  1. Establish a joint account to practice managing money together
  2. Have deep and meaningful conversations about your values, goals, and dreams
  3. As trust and respect are established, start to move more money toward the joint account to handle it together.

At first, it will be difficult, especially if you are older when you get married.  This is because you both have established your routines, practices, habits, and values.  Typically, it will take at least a few months of practice to start seeing real results, but if you are following this guideline, it should get easier and easier.

If you are currently keeping your money separate, the first step is to establish a simple joint checking account.  Each of you will contribute a certain amount of money to this account each month.  The total each of you put in is determined by your individual incomes, but the monthly amount that goes into this account should be what it takes to operate your household.  So, you'll need to have established your household budget before this. 

Let's say it takes $4500 to run your household and you both make about the same money (income).  In this case, you'll both contribute $2250 to this joint account each month.  Then, you will pay all of your household bills from this account.

What this does is forces you to communicate, work together, and share responsibilities for the operation of the entire home. 

Secondly and most importantly, you'll want to have real, truthful, and meaningful conversations about your values, dreams, and goals for your life.  What is important to you?  What do you want to spend your money on?  What are your savings goals?  What do you want your life to look like?  All of these are critical to getting on the same page and learning about each other's values. 

Thirdly, as you get more united, you'll move more and more money to the joint account so ALL of your money is handled together.  This doesn't mean you have the same values and goals.  It means you are working together to manage all of your money and put amounts toward the things that are important to both of you (together as well as individually). 

If you need help getting on the same page as your partner and need some guidance, you can start by taking on a savings goal or project together.  Use my free PDF for a few ideas on how to save money this month.  I'd love to hear about your progress!